bad karma
There's someone I'm working with this week that I dislike so much I can hardly bring myself to look at them. Is that weird? I really don't mind most people....either I like and respect them or I just don't bother hanging out with them. There are very very few people I actually really actively dislike. There isn't really much of a good reason for my feeling either which makes it so odd. There was an incident about two years ago where I think she behaved really badly but I don't harbour grudges at all so it's not that...there's just something so precious about her and she takes herself SO seriously I want to slap her...which doesn't make me feel too good about myself! Why do I care is what I wonder. Why can't I just let her be and ignore her? Why does her every move feel like someone is dragging their nails down a blackboard just behind my head? Such negative feeling must be generated by something yet we don't speak and I hardly know her. Not healthy.
I think this spring I'm going to empty our house and try to live with as little superfluous 'stuff' about as possible. We seem to gather other people's leftover furnishings etc and I'm beginning to feel a bit closed in by it all...I shall endeavour to be a little more nomadic - not so hard I don't think as the only 'thing' I'm emotionally attached to is my flute and I need that to earn a living.... anyone want any stuff?
I think this spring I'm going to empty our house and try to live with as little superfluous 'stuff' about as possible. We seem to gather other people's leftover furnishings etc and I'm beginning to feel a bit closed in by it all...I shall endeavour to be a little more nomadic - not so hard I don't think as the only 'thing' I'm emotionally attached to is my flute and I need that to earn a living.... anyone want any stuff?

1 Comments:
supposed to say? who knows... I am totally familiar with this theory and would support it wholeheartedly except I am sure I am nothing like this person at all. What gets to me about her is her blinkered, self-important attitude and her absolute capacity to be able to emotionally trample on anyone who gets in her way. Now I know I am far from perfect but I am not without compassion or empathy, and I will/can see the ridiculous in myself without much encouragement. And as far as I know (I don't tend to mention it ever!) no-one else feels like this at all so the scapegoating is not relevent here (I think anynyway). And I feel so bad about disliking her that it would be a weird fantasy....still, who knows you may be right...
I love that we all chat too.
Post a Comment
<< Home