over a soya latte in my little garden

I find myself overwhelmed by persistent thoughts of veganism. I feel that since giving birth, and every time I put my daughter to my breast to feed, I am more and more awakened to the instinctive, base elements that are the foundations of who I am. And I constantly find myself fighting it. I am not an evangelical - in fact I hate people who are convinced they are right to the point of shoving their half-baked ideas into other peoples space....yet for the first time I feel that I am totally right and that until now I have not been totally awake. How to continue? How to change my life in inperceptible degrees so that I don't frighten people off by being too intense? How to combine these feelings with today's society? I am not yet ready to opt out completely but I don't fit....