budding
So it's early days and not many people know but I figure that I don't see many of the people who read this blog all that often so news won't get out too fast....I am with child again.
I am really happy about it - the baby bird will have a sibling to play with and learn all sorts of important and valuable lessons with about sharing, loving, giving etc. the new fledgling will be born in the summer again and I love summer babies - it is due around the same time the baby bird was and I think a two year gap is a nice one.
On the down side I wonder just where I will find more love from and hope that the baby bird will manage to adjust to not being the only one without out too much trauma. And, bigger than any of that, I am terrified of having the same birth experience again. Which is why I have been investigating Independent Midwifery - even though I am absolutely against private healthcare. I really really need continuous care this time and for a midwife to be at the birth that I know and trust. And I don't want to set foot in a hospital unless it is absolutely necessary. With an independent midwife I get someone come to the house every three weeks for checks, I get to try to talk through my previous experience and hopefully lay some of it to rest, and I will be totally supported in opting for a homebirth. We had a consultation with one today and she is brilliant - confident, wise, experienced and everything else I need in a birthing support. She is also a homeopath so I can deal with labour pains homeopathically rather than with hardcore drugs...and she is a specialist in VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) which is very important to me.
I feel that my blog may become part of my way of preparing myself for this birth - I hope no-one minds. I won't go on and on and on about pregnancy - already I am finding that being pregnant and having a child changes the experience dramatically from the first pregnancy! I am also interested in gathering information/support regarding being vegan and pregnant. Last time I was only vegetarian - which was fine - but now I can't bring myself to use any animal product and I know that it is absolutely possible to be pregnant and vegan....I think it is just a case of being very aware of the nutritional value of things and making sure I get enough of everything. So, if anyone has anything helpful to offer me regarding any of this I am very receptive right now...here's hoping everything goes well - so far I've only vomited a few times!!
I am really happy about it - the baby bird will have a sibling to play with and learn all sorts of important and valuable lessons with about sharing, loving, giving etc. the new fledgling will be born in the summer again and I love summer babies - it is due around the same time the baby bird was and I think a two year gap is a nice one.
On the down side I wonder just where I will find more love from and hope that the baby bird will manage to adjust to not being the only one without out too much trauma. And, bigger than any of that, I am terrified of having the same birth experience again. Which is why I have been investigating Independent Midwifery - even though I am absolutely against private healthcare. I really really need continuous care this time and for a midwife to be at the birth that I know and trust. And I don't want to set foot in a hospital unless it is absolutely necessary. With an independent midwife I get someone come to the house every three weeks for checks, I get to try to talk through my previous experience and hopefully lay some of it to rest, and I will be totally supported in opting for a homebirth. We had a consultation with one today and she is brilliant - confident, wise, experienced and everything else I need in a birthing support. She is also a homeopath so I can deal with labour pains homeopathically rather than with hardcore drugs...and she is a specialist in VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) which is very important to me.
I feel that my blog may become part of my way of preparing myself for this birth - I hope no-one minds. I won't go on and on and on about pregnancy - already I am finding that being pregnant and having a child changes the experience dramatically from the first pregnancy! I am also interested in gathering information/support regarding being vegan and pregnant. Last time I was only vegetarian - which was fine - but now I can't bring myself to use any animal product and I know that it is absolutely possible to be pregnant and vegan....I think it is just a case of being very aware of the nutritional value of things and making sure I get enough of everything. So, if anyone has anything helpful to offer me regarding any of this I am very receptive right now...here's hoping everything goes well - so far I've only vomited a few times!!
posted by raven at 7:45 pm
6 Comments:
.....thankyou! talking of tits, mine are ridiculously sore - I remember it from last time but now I have the baby bird who does not always respect my body as being mine...rather she thinks it is a climbing frame for her...and boy do they hurt when she is happily clambouring up me!
thank you for your caring post....i am not experiencing good relations with my mother right now - and my father has unknowingly upset me too so i am feeling quite alone (apart from my husband obviously) and in need of some love. Partly it's hormonal I guess and partly it's because I am not being supported much in my decision to use an independent midwife - no-one seems to understand that I am not paying for a little luxury for myself - rather I am doing the only thing I can to get through another birth without the same trauma and not having to relive it all alone. I think I hid it all too well last time...and although it doesn't sound like much; having such an invasive and violatory birth experience last time, it really deepy affected me - actually more than I even knew - it is only now I am facing it again that I realise the extent of my fear and I have no option than to face it head on. Isn't it worth the money to have someone care about that and help me deal with it and know about it so when the time comes again we can go about things differently? bloody hell....... (rant rant feel sorry for myself rant)
I dreamt about you last night haesel - it was a really comforting dream that I have carried with me all day like a lovely hot water bottle of a feeling...I dreamt we came to stay with you and we ate yams and went for a long walk with a very small man who skipped along beside us and we talked about wise things and then went back to your house to prepare for a party with lots of strange and 'fringe' people and we made halva. It was full of love and acceptance of everything and everybody.....just what i needed!
Hi raven, just got your message about ichat. Let's chat sometime! Do you have a webcam? With ichat you can see each other, it's so cool.
I have been meaning to post a comment about this blog for ages and ages - in fact I started writing one twice and the words came out all wrong. I guess it's difficult because it's strange: I think of you as a friend now, and yet in the flesh we don't know each other that well! But I really care, and want to say 'congratulations' on being pregnant! I know there are lots of difficulties and worries but overall it's just so exciting that you're going to have another baby and I'm very happy for you.
And I do believe that, with what you went through last time, and as the mother, you should get the support that you want and need, and should have the baby in the circumstances that feel right and reassuring for you. I can't believe that anyone would see that as 'indulgent'.
Thank you IS. I find our relationship fascinating actually - I feel you are a friend absolutely - and one that knows more about me than many - yet at the same time I am always aware that however honest our blogging may be we are still filtering things and showing the side of ourselves that we want to be seen more than our 'dark' side. So when we do meet in person will it be awkward and as almost strangers noticing each other's quirks and idiosyncracies or will it be as old friends at a reunion? I wonder. Let's make it old friends hey?!
As for the pregnancy and care I think I will blog some more about that tonight but I want to say how much I really value your and Haesel's support. I can't express how much it means to me and I hope to be able to share the good bits as well as the more troubled things with you both....
I do have a webcam in my classy little computer so we could chat with pictures although that may freak me out a bit yet - lets IM first?!!!
I love that expression "I am with child." It is so amazing that a new human being can be growing in you. I had a successful normal birth after a difficult caesarean.
So - warm wishes with this new journey. I read a little while ago that we can't feel fear while we are feeling appreciation - our brain can't do both at once.
Warmly, Robin
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