I just read a brilliant book. Phillip Roth's 'The Plot against America'.....there was so much American (and world) history I didn't know about that I feel stupid for not knowing but I have long since felt that my education in history is scanty and poor and am constantly trying to become less ignorant. But it was also brilliant in a personal and narrative way. My wise old father has often told me that Roth is well worth reading and yet again he was right.
My sister-in-law gave birth to a baby girl on Friday - Rosie Madeline - I am happy for them but there are a lot of mixed feelings. Firstly I am always sad when I hear of someone having a nice normal birth.....obviously overjoyed for them but every time it feels like a little twist in my heart re. the baby bird's birth. And my sister in law has been very cross with me and my husband recently and we are not really sure why we are the vent for her anxiety/sadness/anger or whatever heightened emotive state she has been going through. That makes it quite hard to know what she thinks is the right thing for us to do - we seem to have to double guess her and behave in a particular way or else we are accused of blah blah blah. Talk of walking on eggshells. My poor husband has been quite stressed about it - the last thing he would ever want to do is hurt her. I think it's all to do with me somehow but I can't quite yet work out what threat she sees in me.
What a mundane post. Perhaps I will be enlightened soon...
My sister-in-law gave birth to a baby girl on Friday - Rosie Madeline - I am happy for them but there are a lot of mixed feelings. Firstly I am always sad when I hear of someone having a nice normal birth.....obviously overjoyed for them but every time it feels like a little twist in my heart re. the baby bird's birth. And my sister in law has been very cross with me and my husband recently and we are not really sure why we are the vent for her anxiety/sadness/anger or whatever heightened emotive state she has been going through. That makes it quite hard to know what she thinks is the right thing for us to do - we seem to have to double guess her and behave in a particular way or else we are accused of blah blah blah. Talk of walking on eggshells. My poor husband has been quite stressed about it - the last thing he would ever want to do is hurt her. I think it's all to do with me somehow but I can't quite yet work out what threat she sees in me.
What a mundane post. Perhaps I will be enlightened soon...
posted by raven at 9:42 am
1 Comments:
yeh there's absolutely some of that in it. My husband went to visit her today and she asked about our scans. Here the nhs does a scan at 12 weeks and 20 weeks and then more if there may be problems. The 12 week scan is mainly a dating scan but people have come to put a lot of importance on it. This silly sister-in-law (who you have to be so careful what you say with remember) when she found out that we have not had the 12 week scan as they are not known to be wholly safe and as I know my dates it is unnecessary said 'but it's the most important one - you don't know if your baby is dead'. thanks bitch. Like millions of babies haven't been born with no scans at all and like seeing a picture of your unborn child is somehow more safe than not. Whatever.
And I think she finds it hard that I am very comfortable with being a mother when she is so obviously nervous and that her younger brother is a more experienced parent that she is.
Also she is an irrational and unreasonable being....
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