just a minute...I'm not finished!
posted by raven at 12:05 am
Monday, February 05, 2007
About Me
- Name: raven
- Location: manchester, United Kingdom
I love my daughters. My life is good. Things go wrong..I try to sort them out.
Previous Posts
- too weird
- twinkle twinkle my little star!
- 'we're getting married!'
- hi bye ovengloves
- every moment is lovely really
- the phantom willy
- the first jump....it's so much harder than I reali...
- magic moments
- starburst....
4 Comments:
I'm glad you're posting lots of video! It's awesome that little Raven is already so comfortable asking for what she needs! :-) It's so cute. You must be a good mom.
Did you like the whispered bye at the end?!!
I've been criticised for being too 'child-centered' as a parent. How can you be TOO childcentered? I had her and she deserves the best attention, nurturing and care I can give her right? Seems no-one is allowed to parent the way they instinctively know is right.....thanks for being supportive x
yes, the 'bye' at the end was amazing!
People will give you all sorts of bad advise as a parent. I always balk at the comment some people make- don't spoil the child with too much love.
The only danger I've seen with 'child centered' mothers is when they are actually trying to make the child a certain way (that has more to do with the parent’s/cultural narcissism than the child’s wellbeing-) wanting them to be like a performing monkey (always nice, pretty, polite, presentable, mother-adoring)- but if you are child-centered in a way that is really good for the child- then it's amazing.
You've talked a lot about 'non-attachment' and I think that's key. Obviously not totally not-attached, but something like a healthy sense of boundaries. And understanding that the child's needs come before your need for them to love you (for example).
I know a woman close to me who has fed her children so much baked food that 3 of her 4 children are obese. And she said that she wants her children to love her- that's why she does it. She is a perfect example (in so many ways) of a mother who is 'child centered' in ways that are completely transparently done to make her the center of her children's lives- for her benefit.
But the two sets of kids that I was a nanny for were from child-centered parents- and they were amazing- and it was amazing seeing the children's needs attended to- and that they could articulate their needs in a normal way.
This is a subject that I feel strongly about and could comment on in all sorts of ways. But I’m glad that you’re criticized for being too child centered- it probably means you’re doing a fantastic job. You were child-centered toward me when we lived together at school- and that was what made us such good friends- and you so special to me as a friend (as well as your humor, intelligence, things in common, etc.) :-)
I know what you mean about the child-moulding thing but I'm not like that at all...my girl is often the child who is wearing three pyjama tops put on wrong by herself, stickers in her hair, grubby hands covered in felt pen and unable to sit at the coffee table or whatever because she's too busy running about making friends with strangers...
I also get asked a lot if she will be a musician. How the f@*£& should I know? ANd I get asked if I'm looking out for any talents she has...she's not even two for god's sake. nope. my baby bird just does as she does and with the full knowledge that I will be somewhere in the background for her if/when she needs me.
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